your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so explain again why im purple
no
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
