Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
