just tell him i said nine months
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
