Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
