I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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