apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
