Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
