How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
