RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize