Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
