I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
