And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
