Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
