People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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