she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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