So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize