I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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