He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
