somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
