never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
