Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
