can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize