I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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