So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize