this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
