We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
