your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize