Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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