I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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