physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
