Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
