i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
