We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
