i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
