On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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