I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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