glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
A bitchslap is in order.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
