i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
