I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
