THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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