Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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