Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
