that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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