I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
