my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
time to smoke my breakfast
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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