we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
