Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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