I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize