Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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