I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Green mimosas i think yes
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
