On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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