god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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