i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
