god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
