Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
