her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
