Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
