Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
